Why Are First-Time Mom Struggles So Emotionally Draining?

For me, becoming a mother for the first time was challenging. It could be the same for you. Your life is changed the instant you hold your child. Regardless of the amount of books or videos you watch, actual life feels different. The initial weeks may be exhausting, perplexing, and even isolating.

I’ll go over my typical first-time mom struggles in this post. You will discover facts, real-world instances, and solutions that truly benefited me. This guide is intended for those who are new mothers or are getting ready to become mothers.

What Are First-Time Mom Struggles?

Managing new situations is a part of being a first-time mother. You could be uncertain about how to hold your infant, feed them, or even put them to sleep. It all seems like a struggle.

In the first six weeks following birth, more than 70% of first-time mom struggles through feelings of overwhelm, according to research from the American Academy of Pediatrics. This is not unique to you.

Let’s examine some of the main challenges faced by new mothers:

1- Breastfeeding Challenges

One of the most challenging aspects of my experience as a first-time mother was breastfeeding. It wasn’t as simple as the videos made it appear. Every feeding was uncomfortable and stressful because I had trouble getting my baby to latch.

On certain days, I felt like I wasn’t giving my kid enough milk because my supply was low. On other days, my baby choked because the milk flowed so much. It was back and forth all the time. My confidence progressively increased as a result of utilizing nipple creams, finding the ideal posture, and contacting lactation specialists.

2- Sleep Deprivation

I was severely affected by sleep loss throughout the first few months. I was waking up every two to three hours, maybe more, because newborns sleep in short periods. Before I experienced it, I had no idea how draining it could be. I was sometimes unable to operate normally during the day, feeling like a zombie.

My attitude, memory, and capacity to think properly were all impacted by my lack of sleep. I didn’t realize how much my body required that deep, restorative sleep, so I frequently felt irritable and frustrated. I found that asking for assistance from family members and taking quick naps helped me deal.

3- Feeling Inadequate

I frequently felt that I wasn’t doing enough for my child as a first-time mother. Seeing other mothers on social media who appear to have it all together makes it simple to compare yourself to them. I started to wonder if I was doing enough tummy time, if I was feeding my kid enough, or if I was managing things properly.

When my regimen didn’t seem to be working or my baby didn’t reach key milestones, I started to question myself. As time went on, I came to understand that everyone faces challenges and that no mother is flawless. It’s acceptable to not know everything.

4- Postpartum Body Changes in first-time mom struggles

My body underwent major changes after giving birth for which I was unprepared. I had severe mood swings, back discomfort, and hair loss. It was difficult to accept that I had a postpartum tummy that would not go away no matter how hard I tried.

I also had trouble feeling as secure in my new look. The expectation from society to “snap back” made it even harder for me to return to my pre-pregnancy shape. My body had recently undergone a rigorous treatment, and I needed to convince myself that it was recovering on its own. I started to accept my postpartum body more and more over time.

5- Emotional Stress

Being a new mother can cause a great deal of emotional strain. There were times when I felt depressed, anxious, or plain exhausted. About 15% of new mothers experience postpartum depression, according to the CDC, and I thought I would be one of them.

Despite having friends and family to support me, there were times when I felt totally alone. At first, I had a hard time bonding with my son and grieved over trivial things. Making the decision to speak candidly about my feelings with a therapist had a significant impact. You should take care of your mental health needs.

6- Relationship Pressure

My relationship was unexpectedly put to the test when my baby was born. My spouse and I found ourselves fighting more than normal in the beginning. We were both exhausted, under stress, and attempting to get used to our new jobs. It was a lot of work to manage everything, including our relationship, housework, and infant care. Stress frequently hampered communication and caused minor problems to escalate.

We had to learn to value candid communication and to be patient with one another. Planning “us time,” even if it was only a few minutes a day, was beneficial. Through the upheaval, it is essential that we support one another.

Why These first-time mom Struggles Feel Worse

Little things seem like major problems when you’re emotional and exhausted. It could seem like you’re the only one experiencing this. I had that experience.

Allow me to demonstrate how a silent or unsupported battle gets worse:

1- Breastfeeding Feels Like a Test

When your infant cries and won’t eat, you might think you’re doing something incorrectly. When I was unable to feed my infant properly, I sobbed. Nobody assured me that struggling is acceptable.

2- Sleep Deprivation Impacts Mental Health

Sleep is more than just a way to relax. Sleep deprivation impairs your patience, memory, and mood. When I was really tired, I once neglected to add water to infant formula. It frightened me.

3- Social Media Makes You Compare

When I saw other mothers sharing flawless photos, I began to question myself. I once seen a mother jogging while pushing her infant. I was still recovering, so I was unable to walk normally.

4- Hormonal Imbalance Feels Like Guilt

I lost control of my mood and snapped at my partner. I felt bad after that. I had no idea that hormones were the cause of this. No one informed me that this was typical.

5- Isolation Increases Stress

I was by myself quite a few days. Friends didn’t come over. Family thought I was occupied. I thought that while I was frozen, the world was moving on.

How You Can Overcome First-Time Mom Struggles

Now let’s talk about solutions. I want you to know that things get better. You will learn. You will grow. And you are already doing your best.

Here’s what helped me, and I hope it helps you too:

1- Join a Support Group

It helped me to talk to other new mothers. Moms dealing with similar problems can be found through local meetups and online communities. A 2017 study in the Maternal and Child Health Journal discovered that support groups help new moms feel less stressed and more confident.

I become a member of a new mother’s Facebook community. Real-world experiences taught me how to nurse and educate my body to sleep.

2- Follow a Sleep Routine

Although newborns don’t have a set routine, you can gently guide them. Having a nightly routine is beneficial.

For instance, I played soothing music, fed my infant, warmed him up, and turned down the lights. He started to sleep for longer periods of time.

3- Accept Help Without Guilt

Say “yes” if someone offers assistance. Do not feel sorry for yourself. For instance, when I needed a nap, my mother-in-law volunteered to hold the infant. I initially declined. My necessity for that slumber became clear to me later.

4- Talk to a Doctor

Consult a specialist if you experience sadness, exhaustion, or despair for longer than two weeks. Depression after giving birth is genuine. You are not at blame. The World Health Organization reports that postpartum depression affects 1 in 7 new mothers worldwide.

5- Eat Well and Stay Hydrated

Fuel is what your body needs to repair. Eating wholesome meals and drinking water sped up my recuperation. To eat while nursing the infant, I made boiled eggs, almonds, and fruits as snacks.

6- Communicate with Your Partner

I began to express my emotions to my spouse. This improved our understanding of one another. I informed him that every day I needed thirty minutes to myself. It was during that period that he walked the infant. It made me feel like a human again.

7- Ignore Unrealistic Standards

Every infant is unique. Each mother is unique. Not reality, yet highlights are displayed on social media. If a page makes you feel horrible, unfollow it. Pay attention to people who teach and encourage you.

8- Take One Day at a Time

Avoid over-planning. Concentrate on today. Little things have a tremendous impact. I gave up trying to maintain the house’s perfection. I completed one duty each day: cleaning bottles on Tuesday and doing laundry on Monday. It succeeded.

9- You Are Not Alone in this first-time mom struggles

It is acceptable to feel lost if you are experiencing difficulties as a first-time mother. So was I. Things improved with time, patience, and support. You don’t need a flawless mother for your child. Your infant, exhausted, clumsy, and affectionate, wants you. Don’t hurry. Consult for assistance. Chat with other mothers. Most essential, treat yourself with kindness.

Key Takeaways for First-Time Mom Struggles

• Breastfeeding, sleep loss, and emotional stress are common first-time mom struggles.
• These struggles feel worse without support or rest.
• Support groups, routines, healthy food, open communication, and medical help make a real difference.
• Let go of perfect. Focus on being present.
• First-time mom struggles are temporary, but the love you give lasts forever.

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